The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
