The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
