I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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