What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
