i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
