Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
