Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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