my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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