Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Please don't give away my fajitas
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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