I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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