they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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