party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
