Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
