Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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