So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
