Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
foreskin is a definite game changer
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize