I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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