i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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