He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize