yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
