Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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