he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
