He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
