This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Randomize
