Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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