Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
