It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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