He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
