There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize