1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
