Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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