i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
