thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
