He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
