Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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