I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
