she looked like the before picture.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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