He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
