This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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