oh god the rape fog is back!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize