It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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