I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
