Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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