I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
