So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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