she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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