What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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