I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
