She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
