wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
