Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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