he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
