I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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