I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Mom said you looked used
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
