Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
