I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
