At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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