You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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