He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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