just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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