I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
