You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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