I want to make a zoo with you.
he thought i was a dude.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
