Dual....:-)
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
