We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
As shirtless as possible
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
