Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
