I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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