Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize