Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
