judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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