The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
