okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
