Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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